


True Confessions

by enigmaticblue



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-12
Updated: 2011-09-12
Packaged: 2017-10-23 16:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John just doesn’t talk about feelings. Ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	True Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the hc_bingo prompt "confession in a desperate situation." A sequel of sorts to my fic Connections.

John spots the cave with a sigh of relief and slowly lowers Teyla’s still form to the damp ground. She’s heavier than she looks, and John has been keeping a steady pace for at least a few klicks, trying to get away from the gate, and the Wraith worshippers that had attacked them.

 

John is fairly certain that Ronon and Rodney escaped. With a little more luck than they’ve had so far, the cave will be large enough, and protected enough, to hide out until help arrives or until things calm down enough for John to get Teyla back to the gate.

 

He scrambles up to the cave, grateful to find it empty of fauna and relatively dry. It’s also big enough for two, and John thinks he can probably camouflage the opening without too much trouble.

 

Teyla is still unconscious when John returns to her side. He’s not sure if it’s pain or blood loss, but he wants to get her under cover before he tries to rouse her. The trip up the hill isn’t going to be comfortable for her, to say the least.

 

With some slipping and sliding, John manages to drag Teyla up to the cave, and he makes her as comfortable as he can before finding branches and other brush to hide the entrance. When he’s satisfied that they’re as well hidden as they can get, he grabs a flashlight and checks out the bandage on Teyla’s leg.

 

The outside of the field dressing is dark with blood, but John thinks that the bleeding has slowed. He has another dressing that he can put over the top of this one, but he’d prefer to save it so that he has a fresh one later.

 

Teyla comes around as John checks the bandage. “John?”

 

“Yeah, it’s me,” he whispers. “Just sit tight.”

 

“Where are we?”

 

“In a cave a few klicks from the gate. Do you remember what happened?”

 

Teyla’s mouth twists. “Wraith worshippers,” she almost spits.

 

John knows that in the Pegasus galaxy, to be a Wraith worshipper is to be a traitor of the worst kind. “Yeah, that’s right.”

 

“Rodney and Ronon?” Teyla asks.

 

“They got through, I think,” John replies. “We were cut off from the gate, so I figure we’ll sit tight and wait for them to stop searching or wait for help, whichever comes first.”

 

Teyla nods. “Very well.”

 

John rummages in his tac vest for painkillers and helps Teyla drink from her canteen. “You want something to eat?”

 

She shakes her head. “I don’t think it would stay down.”

 

John doesn’t push; he just resolves to make sure she drinks plenty of water.

 

Outside the cave, he can still hear sounds of pursuit; inside the cave, it’s silent except for the sound of their breathing. He can smell damp earth and blood and sweat, and he hunkers down a little further, instinctively making himself as small and quiet as he can.

 

The interior grows darker as the sun sets, and by nightfall, John hears only birdsong and the hum of insects. Slowly, cautiously, John sticks his head out of the cave, alert for any sign of the Wraith worshippers.

 

“Are they gone?” Teyla asks softly.

 

John retreats inside. “Looks like. There’s a stream nearby where I can fill our canteens. I’ll be right back.”

 

Teyla nods, but he can feel her hesitation. John isn’t sure whether it’s because she doesn’t want to be left alone, or because she’d prefer he have someone to watch his back, but they need water.

 

John moves as quickly and quietly as he can, retracing his earlier steps to find the small stream. The water is cold, and although he wants badly to drink directly from the stream, he knows better. He has water purification tablets in his vest, and Teyla can’t afford for him to get sick right now.

 

He’s already decided not to try for the gate tonight. Darkness might serve as a cover, but in unfamiliar territory, and carrying Teyla, John thinks he’d prefer to wait for daylight.

 

Halfway back to the cave, he stops, hearing the sound of human voices. The words are indistinct, and he’s fairly sure they’re far enough away not to spot him, but the intensity of the search is worrisome. John has to move carefully to avoid being seen or heard, and he slips back inside the cave and covers up the entrance again.

 

“Are they still out there?” Teyla asks.

 

“Yeah.” John puts a purification tablet in each canteen. “We’ll have to wait a bit.”

 

“John, you should go. You can leave me here and bring back help.”

 

John can’t see her face in the darkness, but he frowns, “No. No way. I’m not leaving you here alone.”

 

“John—”

 

“Forget it,” he whispers, his voice harsh. “We’re just going to wait for Rodney and Ronon to bring the cavalry. You know how much Ronon likes hunting Wraith worshippers.”

 

Teyla nods. “Very well, but if you must leave me—”

 

“Not gonna happen,” John insists, cutting her off.

 

As soon as he’s sure the tablets have had sufficient time to work, John makes her drink more water and take more painkillers. He even convinces her to eat a few bites of a power bar before she drifts back off to sleep.

 

John lies down on his stomach facing outside, his P-90 at the ready. He tries to stay alert, but he’s exhausted, and his eyes slide closed in spite of his best efforts. John jerks himself awake as the rising sun hits his face.

 

There’s enough light in the cave now to allow John to change Teyla’s bandage, and he removes the used dressing and uses his knife to cut a slit in her pants to get a better look at the wound. The crossbow bolt had been easy to pull out, since it hadn’t been barbed, and it hadn’t hit the bone or an artery.

 

In the thin light filtering in from outside, however, the wound appears red and inflamed, and the skin around the puncture is hot to the touch. Teyla moans softly, and John winces. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Sorry about that.”

 

Teyla opens her eyes, and John can see that she’s not all there. “I believe there was something on the bolt.”

 

“Maybe,” John allows. “I’m going to try cleaning the wound. I need you to stay quiet.”

 

She nods, and John rinses the wound as best he can with the purified water. Teyla gasps but is otherwise silent, and John uses the only other field dressing he has. He knows she needs medical attention, but he still believes that their best option is to sit and wait.

 

Atlantis can track them through the sub-q transmitters that had been implanted before they’d left Earth. John isn’t worried about being found, but he’s a little concerned they won’t be found _in time_.

 

“You must promise me something,” Teyla says.

 

John glances up at her wan, sweaty face. “Don’t do that.”

 

“You _must_.”

 

He swallows, knowing that they’re encroaching on territory he’s unprepared to face. “Okay.”

 

“Kanaan will look after Torren, but he knows that our son will be raised as a child of two worlds. You will look after him when he is on Atlantis,” Teyla says.

 

Now they’re _way_ too close to talking about things that John _never_ wants to talk about, but this is Teyla, and she’s sick and hurting, and he can’t say no. “Of course.”

 

“Promise me that you won’t let regret or fear keep you from your heart’s desire.”

 

John frowns. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

 

“Yes, you do,” Teyla says gently. “Rodney is no longer with Dr. Keller.”

 

John stiffens. “Teyla…” he says, wanting to warn her off.

 

She closes her eyes. “That’s all I will say on the matter.”

 

“Thank God,” John mutters. He puts his hand on her forehead again and thinks her fever has probably risen another couple of degrees. “I need to get you back to Atlantis.”

 

“You should go. You can bring help.”

 

“Not gonna happen,” he grits out. “Look, just rest, okay? I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”

 

To be honest, John has no idea why they aren’t already here, unless Ronon and Rodney _didn’t_ make it through the gate, and then…

 

John just doesn’t know.

 

Teyla begins to thrash around soon after, whimpering and moaning. John pulls her to him tightly, holding her still so she doesn’t injure herself or give away their location. When her cries get louder, John puts a hand over her mouth, keeping his touch as gentle as he can.

 

“Shh,” he soothes. “Shh. Teyla, you have to keep still. They’ll be here soon. Just a little longer.”

 

When she’s unconscious again, he thinks, he’ll carry her out and head back for the gate. Maybe he’ll be able to double back around. If the Wraith worshippers are searching the forest around the gate for them, John might be able to dial home before being caught.

 

She stills in his arm, but he can see the tension in her face, the lines of pain around her mouth and eyes, and she says, “Promise me.”

 

“Yeah, you know I will,” John agrees recklessly. “I’ll look after Torren. Hell, I’ll even ask McKay out on a date if you keep fighting. I just need you to hang on a little longer.” She’s quiet in his arms now, and John keeps whispering. She seems to be calming down now that he’s talking to her, and he realizes he’d say just about anything to keep her safe, to keep her fighting.

 

John gives her more water to drink, wishing he could do more, and he brushes damp hair off her face. “You’re right,” he whispers. “About McKay, and stuff.”

 

A faint smile tilts her lips. “I don’t believe you’ve ever told me that before.”

 

“What? That you’re right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You’re right a lot,” John jokes. “It just goes without saying.”

 

She takes his hand. “You are a good friend.”

 

John leans down and touches his forehead with hers. “You, too.”

 

When she goes to sleep a few minutes later, John decides that it’s now or never. He’s pretty sure there was something on that crossbow bolt he pulled out of her leg, because Teyla’s tough, and she shouldn’t have gotten so sick so fast.

 

Plus, he’d heard the panic in her voice. John knows what to do with a panicking McKay, but Teyla…

 

John takes a deep breath and cautiously pokes his head out of the cave, trying not to lean too far out for fear of being seen immediately.

 

“Sheppard!” Ronon’s shout sends relief course through John.

 

“Up here!” he calls. “Teyla’s injured.”

 

Ronon emerges from the underbrush at the base of the hill, followed closely by Lorne and a couple of Marines. “What about the bad guys?” John asks.

 

Ronon grins fiercely, and that’s answer enough.

 

“Good to see you, sir,” Lorne says. “Let’s get you home.”

 

John nods. “Let me get Teyla out.”

 

Lorne speaks into his radio as the Marines take up flanking positions, and John ducks back inside the cave, trying to get Teyla out without causing her any more pain than he has to. Ronon lifts her easily in his arms, and John glances around. “Where’s Rodney?”

 

“He took fire,” Ronon replies. “In the arm. He’ll be fine.”

 

John blows out a breath. “Okay. That’s okay. Let’s get the hell out of here, huh?”

 

~~~~~

 

It turns out that the Wraith worshippers had coated their weapons in some kind of poison. Keller had a name for it, but it doesn’t mean anything to John when she explains. The good news is that Rodney had come through the gate with a bolt in his arm, which meant they’d been able to get a sample and find a counteragent.

 

John doesn’t like to think about how close he’d come to losing Teyla, but Lorne reports that there had been at least a dozen Wraith worshippers guarding the gate and the surrounding woods, and it had taken a whole platoon of Marines, plus a few stunners, to clear the way for the rescue mission.

 

“You made the right call, sir,” Lorne insists. “No offense, but you wouldn’t have gotten through, not when you were carrying Teyla.”

 

It’s a small comfort, but since Keller said that Teyla hadn’t had more than a few more hours before the damage from the poison was irreversible—well, John will take it.

 

Rodney is sleeping off the effects of the poison and the counteragent by the time John gets checked out, makes his report to Woolsey, and gets the orders to get some rest. He stops by the infirmary to check on Teyla and Rodney again, only to have Keller tell him in no uncertain terms to get lost.

 

“And don’t come back until you’ve had a couple of good meals and 12 hours of sleep,” she says.

 

John has to admit he likes her a lot better now that she’s _not_ dating McKay.

 

He’s not actually expecting to sleep, but the last couple of days catch up to him all at once, and he just barely manages to get his boots off before falling sideways and going straight to sleep.

 

When he wakes up, late morning sunlight streams into his quarters, and his door is chiming insistently. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he calls, “Yeah, come in.”

 

Rodney comes barreling inside, and John can’t quite read his expression. Rodney’s mobile mouth is turned down and his eyes are narrowed. “I thought you were _dead_ ,” he blurts out.

 

John blinks, still not quite awake. “Well, I’m not.”

 

“Yes, I can _see that_ ,” Rodney replies, and then his shoulders slump as all the fight goes out of him, and John realizes that he’s holding two steaming mugs of coffee. “Um, I thought you might want some,” Rodney says. “Coffee, that is.”

 

John looks at the mug, and then at Rodney’s familiar face, and he smiles, because Teyla is usually right about these things.

 

He figures if Rodney’s bringing him coffee, it has to be love.

 

John accepts his cup, sets it carefully on the desk, and then puts his hands on Rodney’s face, holding him steady for a kiss. Rodney’s mouth opens under his—shock, John thinks—and then he’s kissing John back, gripping John’s t-shirt with his free hand.

 

And John just keeps kissing him, letting his actions speak louder than words.


End file.
